Summer is coming to an end and so is my adventure with G. Working as a tour leader has been an eye opener in many ways. I met so many different people, from all stages of life. I’ve seen so many places. I’ve dragged my backpack on trains every second day. I haven’t had a home, and yet have called many places home. This summer’s been a blast, but now it’s time to say goodbye.
One more goodbye. There have been many. Somehow it never gets easier. You get attached to a group of people, only to say goodbye again a week or two later. You can try to detach or try not to get too attached in the first place, but it is only normal to make connections. So I made friends, I had fun, I shared incredibly cool experiences with people I’d just met, made places my home, and I even fell in love.
In my last month I had a 30 day trip around Europe, in which some people stayed the full 30 days. I had one more chance to say goodbye to all those place I love. All those places that are filled with memories, good and bad. The bar in Krakow where I had cocktails with some amazing people a few weeks ago. The café with the powerpuff girls in Budapest where I sat with my fellow trainees. The mountain where I received bad news from home. The steps where I fell in love. The restaurant where many people fell in love with Polish cooking…
My life generally is pretty crazy and my head turns it into an emotional roller coaster, but the last month has been so even more. I am so glad I got the opportunity to experience this. I’ve learned a lot. I’ve grown. I’ve come to some important realizations. But, I’m so done saying goodbye. My life is one big series of goodbyes. I feel like I’ve lost all connection to what is stable, the only thing left being my family, who is always there, always ready to ground me again.
I hate goodbyes, but I am happy I can now say goodbye to this summer. I’m exhausted. I’m done. I am saying goodbye to saying goodbyes. How ironic. Soon, I’m off to Canada. I bet this will be another place of goodbyes, but I hope it will also be a place where I can find what I really want. Stability. Peace of mind. A home. Friends. Future. Only time can tell.
